This stage is a great stage to be in, although it can be the most illusive. Just when you think you are there, you suddenly find yourself bouncing back and forth between all of the other stages, and you realize that grieving is fluid and always moving. Its not a ladder that you can easily climb, its more like swimming in the ocean where you move back and forth slowly making progress.
Right now I live here, in acceptance, with moments and sometimes days where I visit the other stages, but I don't usually stay long. I feel at peace with having Lily as part of our path in this life, I didn't expect it, but I can accept it.
This doesn't mean that life is just peachy all of the time. I still have fear about what the future holds for Lily and for all of us. I still find myself feeling anxious about whether or not I can handle all of the different stresses that may come our way, and I can definitely get overwhelmed with life in general.
Still, overall when I think about where I was 10 months ago, I am so grateful to be where I am now, and I hope in 10 more months, I can look back, and see how much more progress I have been able to make.
7 comments:
"I didn't expect it, but I can accept it" I LOVE this!! I think I am going to make it big and put in on my wall!!!
This is very peaceful Brit!!! I am so glad you have shared so much!
I second Nicole. I like that line! Honestly I am so impressed with your ability to experience such grief and a) be able to identify your feelings and b) be able to share them with all of us. Talking about feelings is what helps us get through them! So few people can do what you've been able to do in such a short time (if ever!)
I realized this morning that I need to go back through these posts and reread them. My mom just died and (duh!), I haven't thought about these stages and my own grieving process.
Thank you so much, Brittany, for using your experiences to help us.
This is why Lily is so lucky to have you as her mother. You accept her even while you're real with yourself and your feelings. She's going to amaze you one day and challenge you the next, just like her siblings probably already do.
I'm glad you've shared too, Can't believe it's been 10 months...
You are so right...grief is fluid...and someday you'll be in acceptance 99.9% of the time and you'll wonder what took so long to get there.
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