I remember when the doctor first told me he suspected that Lily had Cri du Chat, I remember my mind very clearly thinking, she doesn't have this, there is no way. For the next few weeks, while we were waiting to get Lily into Primary's for genetic testing, I obsessed constantly about whether or not I thought she had it. I would look at certain features and think that there was no way she could have it, because she didn't have low-set ears, or webbed fingers. And if she did have one of the features, I convinced myself that it came from somewhere in our own DNA, like a small chin (all my kids have that when they were born). Round and round I went, day and night, convincing myself that her cat like cry could be from something else, the fact that she was really small didn't mean anything, I know babies that were born much smaller than her and had no problems. I could convince myself every day that this was just a horrible mistake, and that soon everything would be cleared up, and one day we would look back laughing when we told the story.
After we took her into the geneticist, we all went to lunch where my aunt (who works with special needs kids) joked that she must also be in denial too, because she thought Lily was looking so great. In fact everyone around me must have been in denial, because everyone kept saying the same thing I was thinking, that she just couldn't have this condition.
The day we got Lily's diagnosis, somewhere in my mind my first thought was that it must be a mix up, there could have been a mistake made, but I knew in the bottom of my heart that there was no mix up, there was no mistake made. There was no more wondering whether or not she had this and there was also no more hope that this would end the way I wanted it to.