We went to a Halloween party and tried to have a good time. Hunter was running around screaming and having meltdowns. He could not calm down or play with the other kids and Lily was still so small it was like bringing a newborn out and about town.
We left that party early. We were exhausted from trying. From trying to have a good time, from trying to act normal. It was just exhausting.
I remember leaving the party thinking that we were the only family that couldn't go to a party and be like all of the other families there. We only had three kids with us, but it felt like we had six kids to manage. As we drove away, (we were the first ones to leave) I remember thinking that we would never be like the other "normal" families out there. This party was symbolic of all of my fears. This party was the proof to me that we would never be able to do the things that we want to do and we would always be that family leaving the party early.
This year was a totally different experience. We did all of our traditions and went to our parties and things felt normal, we all had fun, and this year we were not the first to leave!